Old Jokes. New Post: The Borscht Belt

This virtual cornucopia of Borscht Belt jokes was sent to us by Capettawitz.

You may remember the old Jewish Catskill comics of Vaudeville days, Shecky Green, Red Buttons, Tottie Fields, Milton Berle, Henny Youngman, Myron Cohen and others?

Tottie Fields
Milton Berle

You’ve probably heard of them before, but don’t you miss their humor if you were old enough? Not one single swear word in their comedy.

A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says, ‘Are you comfortable? ‘ The man says, ‘I make a living.’

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she’s making love? ‘Honey, I’m home!’

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night, only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

I was just in London; there is a 6-hour time difference. I’m still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.

The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, ‘Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. ‘ Mrs. Cohen answered, ‘So did my arthritis!’

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  • Elmo

    I’m not a Jew but I still love those old jokes.  And it’s terrific that you don’t have to put up with some jerk cursing and swearing and with a boulder on his shoulder.  Those old Borscht Belt comics put the crude modern day schmucks to shame.    

    • Jeftravis

      “Crude modern day schmucks”? Like who? These old jokes are “old” for a reason. They were cliched, crude in their own way, and generic examples of humor. And there were comics using what you call “crude” humor at the same time these cornball comedians were performing. Bruce started in the 50’s, Pryor and many others in the 60’s. Learn your history. There’s basically very little if anything pertinent, relevant, or insightful quality to these jokes. Where’s the social/political content? Where’s the sense of having to actually think to get the joke? Lenny Bruce was bashing the likes of Henny Youngman in his time; and rightfully so. It’s lame, insulting to women as much in its own way as most any current comedian, and trite. 

      • kermsroomy

        It must be tough being you.

  • Yonashimel

    Sol bumps into Irving up in the Garment District, He says, ” Irv, I’m sorry to hear about the fire at your factory.”
    Irv says, “Shut-up ! The fire’s tonight ! “

  • Arnok

    Next Olympics will be held in Boro Park. I’ll bring the lox. Oy vey!

  • kermsroomy

    I was at the racetrack the other day. I had a horse so slow that the jockey kept a diary.