Tucks Medicated Pads are crap!

I don’t even know where to begin on this one. 

Tucks Medicated Pads are so many kinds of wrong I become enraged just thinking about it!
So, I’ll make a list. Here goes:

  1. It’s 50% Witch Hazel –Which I can buy in any store for next to nothing.

  3. Most of the rest of the product is glycerin (for that slick feeling that never seems to go away) and alcohol (again, another product I can buy cheaply).

  5. Tucks contains diazolidinyl urea (yuck!) — a preservative that releases formaldehyde! of all things!

  7. The makers of Tucks, Pfizer, can’t decide if they their product provides hemorrhoidal or vaginal care (both are on the box) and I’m more than a little uncomfortable with that the confusion on this matter.

  9. The box uses the term moist in reference to the pads and I hate the word ‘moist.’

  11.  The pads themselves are, well, too moist (I really hate that word!). Each little pad drips like a leaky faucet.

  13.  Pads come out of the container in clumps, not one at a time, which makes these babies prone to waste. Way to go green Pfizer!

  15. Tucks pads are small and round and don’t make sense for tough jobs — if you know what I mean.

  17. The smallness of the pads make them prone to finger slippage, which is, of course, never pretty.

  19. The container itself is completely and utterly a design blunder by requiring two hands to open — one to unscrew the top and the other to hold the container. I don’t know about you, but I’ve already got a hand in use when I’m getting through sitting on the crapper.


Enough said.

  • Friends have asked me why I would be so outraged by something as seemingly benign as Tucks. Good question.

    Once, in Elementary school, on my way to class, I had the misfortune of walking up a flight of stairs behind a kid that with a problem with cleanliness. An awful trail of wrong wafted from his bottomnal region.

    I would never be that guy. I’ve sampled a variety of methods to stay summer fresh: Shower immediately after the event — not always practical, however; Dampening a swatch of toilet paper with a small drop of Soft Soap — Klingsons is the sad result; Cottonelle Flushibe Whips — Best solution thus far; and, of course Tucks.

    After polling many friends about the ‘hazards’ of Tucks, all of them commented on the small size. The reason for the small, round shape of the pad is that they were indeed designed not for the male buttocks but rather for insertion into the female vagina. Is this true? Please comment if you have documentation.

    Now, to my friend that does not use toilet paper and instead uses his bathroom sink as a bidet. Seems like a lot of trouble — one must move all toothbrushes and other items from the sink area first and then must clean the sink afterwards.

    To this person, I wholeheartedly recommend Cottonelle.

    • venapro

      Ouchies. I see that's a traumatic experience. But I agree. Being hygiene is better. Even if it means that we take extra steps.

    • guest

      Not supposed to be put in a vagina….contrary to popular skeevey porn, there are very few things that should be put INTO a vagina. The perineum is the space between the 2 holes. They should be rested gently in that area, not put inside!!!! Good lord I can see some ditzy blonde (this from one ditzy blonde to another) reading this thread, shoving a couple tucks in her vagina and then visiting the gyno because she is having some kinda major infection!

      • Who said anything (and I mean anything) about vaginas? I certainly didn’t…

        • Misty

          Actually you did say something about vagina’s. If I am not mistaking you said this “After polling many friends about the ‘hazards’ of Tucks, all of them commented on the small size. The reason for the small, round shape of the pad is that they were indeed designed not for the male buttocks but rather for insertion into the female vagina. Is this true? Please comment if you have documentation.”

          • I assure you that my vagina reference was unintended but what you say makes sense. Maybe it’s true indeed though I have no documentation to back it up, if you will…

  • Bethany K Ford

    nice article! nice site. you're in my rss feed now 😉
    keep it up

  • Thanks Bethany! Glad to have you as a distinguished ObsessiveJew.com reader!

  • I find tuck pads only as a temporary relief…I always had to wear one or else the pain would come back after awhile…

    I found what i can say after a than 6 months already is that my hemorrhoids has not come back. I used an all natural method and i think natural remedies are highly recommended in this matter…

    • And you never have problems with finger slippage? Due to the small size of the Tucks Medicated Pad, I find that finger slippage is a major issue. It's a huge pain in the… Well you know. And with finger slippage comes another issue. All I can say however is that I'm glad this comment is not in smell-o-rama!

  • Amanda

    You're a cheap moron.

    • So Amanda, let's examine your comment. By cheap I assume you mean, well, cheap — like a miser (a person who is reluctant to spend money, sometimes to the point of forgoing even basic comforts). By moron, I assume you mean Jew.

      So what you're really saying Amanda is “You're a cheap Jew.”

      Amanda, you anti-Semitic slut! First of all, regardless of the fact that you are clearly a Jew-hating b*tch, I choose not to like or use Tucks Medicated Pads not because they are expensive, but because they are not big enough or tough enough to do the job right! Risking doodoo on my fingers is NOT worth the expense, quite frankly. This does not make me a cheap Jew Amanda — it makes me a smart and obsessively/compulsively clean Jew!

      So take your little anti-Semitic comment and kindly put it where you put your Tucks.

      • Briana

        Moron does NOT mean Jew. While you may be used to people using moron to as a derogatory term for Jew, I have always heard people using moron to call a person an idiot or stupid. Second of all I have had to start using Tucks, although the the pads getting stuck together and are very wet is an inconvenience, I have never had an issue with using them. They do exactly what they are meant to do extremely well. And it is marked on the container that they are to be used for external use only after cleaning the affected area.

  • momsiejs

    Mr Klein, please allow me the opportunity to share some information here that may help. Tucks were not originally designed as a perineal/anal cleansing pad. They are an astringent pad designed to be “tucked” against tender external hemorrhoids and are often used by women after childbirth (NEVER inserted vaginally), but again, “tucked” against a bruised, torn or stitched perineum and left in place for an hour or so. The astringent allows a soothing (and very slight vasoconstrictive effect), to help shrink swelling associated with both hemorrhoids and/or with perineal trauma. They are kept small to avoid bulk/pressure against those tender areas. They can be used as wipes after urinating or bowel movements–but at your own risk of “finger slippage”, I guess! I too would suggest the use of Cottonelle wipes for this purpose -thickest and biggest wipes out there, with the bonus of flushability, and breaks down to decrease impact on the environment. One thing I DO agree with you on, however. Pfizer charges WAY too much for their brand name—these can be purchased as generic “Witch Hazel” pads that are far less expensive! Hope this helps! signed–love Jews (and well-informed healthcare!)

    • I like the way you think! I LOVE Cottonelle wipes. Great product and hard to beat for coverage size (no finger slippage there!), just the right amount of moistness (I hate the word moist) and its cottony gentle feel. In fact, I just purchased Scott's moist (yuck) wipes and they really are inferior to the Cadillac of moist wipes, Contonelle!

      Also, thanks for the oh-so-detailed look at how to correctly use those wet little buggers we like to call Tucks!

      • guest

        For a cheap and easy “at home” way to solve both your problems, I buy and keep a box of Huggies brand baby wipes (why pay the extra for Huggies brand you ask? Because I like their brand….after 3 kids, 2 grandkids and my own desire to be uber clean down there, I’ve found them to be the best) I take out several of the wipes and let them dry out. They will still keep their moisturizers in the wipe and when rehydrated they will help. Then I keep a bottle of cheap witch hazel by the box of wipes. First step, wipe with toilet paper, step 2, wipe with a Huggies wet wipe to get off the “excess” left over from the TP, step 3, tear one of the dried wipes in two pieces and put 1 back with your stash of dried wipes. Take the other wipe and fold it up into a small square and make it damp from the witch hazel. Unfold until it’s just about the size of a playing card. “tuck” it into your, for lack of other words, crack against your hemorrhoid and let it marinate for about an hour before discarding it. Now, for the “on the go” you’ll either need to prep them and keep them in a zip lock baggy (for a girl with a purse, no problem at all, for a guy probably a little more cumbersome) or just go buy the dang pre-packaged one’s!

  • philipverderosa

    I use Tucks and like the small size because of the ease of carrying. In fact many years ago they gave away as a free bonus a small plastic carrying case which comes in handy. I still have one but would love to find another. Do you or anyone you have been in contact with have one. I would like to buy it. No I'm not Jewish but an excessively clean Italian.

  • doowopman50

    concerning the plastic carrying case. i had two of them and just lost my last one. i called tucks to see if you could still get them. no luck,it was a one time promo but the person i spoke to put it on a wish list that they have from people calling into them. maybe if enough people call in requesting them they'll make them again. it really comes in handy. also you might want to try the equate brand of pads at wallmart. ther'er the same and cheaper. other than the price i can't tell any difference between the equate brand and tucks. i'd also like to know where i can get a small on the go (travel case) for the pads other than waiting for tucks to make them again.

  • Walterramjet

    OMG! way too much info LOL

  • It pays to know what you’re buying..and seems that natural methods are always safe and effective not to mention a lot cheaper.

  • peitr

    Baby, tucks aren’t for wiping, they are obviously too small.

  • geeeeez

    Finger slippage….?…lol

  • Doggydoc

    Then don’t buy the frigging product and get a life.

  • gurx

    I too lost my last Tucks carrying case. I discovered, however, that Ice Breakers breath mints come in a container that is a perfect size for Tucks. I have been using one for over a year and though it is a bit thicker than the one provided by Tucks, it does the job just fine. (Plus there is the added benefit of having your tush minty fresh till the case loses it’s original scent)

  • debraam

    to funny…I laughed my head off reading that

  • Justin Robert Ray

    1,2,3… If this is so cheap to make then make them yourself.
    4. This product is viable for use on both areas as it treats strain on the vessels inside the wall of these orifices. Do a little research or are you so cheap you cant even pay attention long enough?
    5. Im not sure why you hate that word but if its because it sounds dirty then grow up. If its not then realize that this word is used correctly in order to describe the product.
    6. It drips like that by design. If you have a roid then the last thing any sane person wants to do is wipe with a dry piece of paper. Over moistened pads ensure avoidance of this issue.
    7. A little patience on your part would go a long way in ensuring that none go to waste. Take them apart if they come out in clumps. Seems like common sense.
    8. I dont know what you mean by tough jobs. if you mean that its not big enough to hold all the poo then read the instructions. Your supposed to clean the area with warm water and soap first. Then dry it and apply.
    9. Again if you get poo on your fingers from slippage then you didnt listen to what I said in number 8.
    10. Heres a thought. Dont apply when your sitting on the toilet. Stand up.Open the container first. Remove a pad. Close the container. Bend over and wipe with the pad. Jeez its like Im talking to a 2 year old who cant figure out how to wipe his own ass.

    Read a book. Ive eaten things smarter then you.