Created by Kent Victor Schuelke and Written by Larry Silverman

Here’s the script:

“Why can’t I carry my bag on the plane?”

“What, no meal? I paid $300 for this ticket and all I get is a little bag of peanuts and a package of Biscoff cookies. I can’t eat the cookies. I have to watch my blood sugar.”

We got better service traveling to the camps than we get on this airline.”

“Stewardess, can I get a blanket?”

“Stewardess, can I get a pillow?”

“Two dollars for some earphones? You cheap bastards. Just give me the fakakta Sky Mall catalog.”

“I didn’t see the seat belt sign. I was in the bathroom. Forgive me for having a small bladder.”

“I should have flown Eastern Airlines to Miami. Now that’s an airline!”