“Goldstein,” the buyer says,

“You’ve been trying to sell me ribbon for at least 25 years. Ok, so go ahead and send me enough yellow ribbon to reach from the tip of your nose, to the tip of your penis.”

Three days later, 4 tractor trailers full of yellow ribbon drive up to Macy’s receiving dock.

The ribbon buyer went ballistic. He calls Goldstein and yells,

“What’s going on?!?

I ordered enough ribbon to reach from the tip of your nose to the tip of your penis, and you send me 4 truck loads full of ribbon!”

Goldstein replied calmly,

“The tip of my penis is in Poland.”

Thanks Capettawitz for Yankel and the Penis Joke!

Keeping the car in the garage keeps its sheen. Same with the penis. In fact, I’d go as far as to say I have foreskin envy. I want mine back! It can be done but I’m not going to delve into that here (Google “foreskin restoration”).

Just try to have this conversation with a Jewish woman. I dare you. Jewish women can not have an intelligent conversation about foreskin. Worse is trying to discuss not having a bris with an expectant Jewish mother. The very mention of the word makes them cringe and gag. They become physically ill and even have trouble with the well-heeled ewww — a word that Jewish women, particularly JAPPY ones pronounce in three or four syllables.

For Jewish women, the “ewww factor” of an uncircumcised penis, on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the ewwwiest) is a 12.

Covenant shmuvenant.