I just had a colonoscopy.  The doctor took one look at my ________ and said “I’ve never seen such a ________!”

I’m terrible in bed. Every time I ________, I ________.

My poor aunt Sylvia. She went to the hospital. They found a ________ in her ________.

We went on a tropical vacation. The weather was so hot, I thought my ________ would ________.

Last year we all went to  ________ and got ________ from eating ________.

My ________ is such a crook! He charged me ________ for ________.

I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about this new concept called Kvetchlibs which are basically Madlibs for people (Jews) who always complain. It’s a way for us to save time by systematizing our tendency to always be dissatisfied.

You merely need to fill in the missing words to customize your own personal kvetch.

Here’s three of them off the top of my head:

1. I can’t believe I ate ________ and now I have such a pain in my ________ .
2. I loved animals until a ________  ________ed on my ________.
3. My cousin ________ is such a putz.  She paid ________ for a ________ .

I know I’ll have about twenty more by the end of the day because I am that kind of obsessive Jew.

May your new year be no worse than the old one!

Jaffe