And this went on for more then 3 years. The two of them never spoke. One day, as the young man passed the old lady’s stand and left his quarter as usual, the pretzel lady spoke to him.

“Sir, I appreciate your business. You are a good customer, but I have to tell you that the pretzel price has gone up to 35 cents.”

Thanks Capettawitz!

“Goldstein,” the buyer says,

“You’ve been trying to sell me ribbon for at least 25 years. Ok, so go ahead and send me enough yellow ribbon to reach from the tip of your nose, to the tip of your penis.”

Three days later, 4 tractor trailers full of yellow ribbon drive up to Macy’s receiving dock.

The ribbon buyer went ballistic. He calls Goldstein and yells,

“What’s going on?!?

I ordered enough ribbon to reach from the tip of your nose to the tip of your penis, and you send me 4 truck loads full of ribbon!”

Goldstein replied calmly,

“The tip of my penis is in Poland.”

Thanks Capettawitz for Yankel and the Penis Joke!

Most importantly, this home video’s got Jews! Here’s “Jews On A Cruise” by Justin Ross Lee:

Facebook doesn’t officially allow embedding of videos, so here’s the link.

Comments?

According to Larry, “The funny thing is that one really has to be Jewish, or some part thereof, to “get” these jokes. Very dry, but very funny!”

Let us know what you think.

A Gentile goes into a clothing store and says,

“This is a very fine jacket. How much is it?”

The salesman says,

“It’s $500.”

The Gentile says,

“OK, I’l l take it.”

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Two Gentiles meet on the street.

The first one says,

“You own your own business, don’t you?
How’s it going?”

The other gentile says,

“Just great! Thanks for asking!”

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Two Gentile mothers meet on the street and start talking about children.

Gentile mother 1 (said with pride):

“My son is a construction worker!”

Gentile mother 2 (said with more pride):

“My son is a truck driver!”

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A man calls his mother and says,

“Mother, I ! know you’re expecting me for dinner this evening, but something important has come up and I can’t make it.”

His mother says,

“OK.”

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A Gentile couple goes to a nice restaurant.

The man says:

“I’ll have the steak and a baked potato, and my wife will have the julienne salad with house dressing. We’ll both have coffee.”

The waiter asks,

“How would you like your steak and salad prepared?”

The man says,

“I’d like the steak medium… the salad is fine as is.”

The waiter says,

“Thank you.”

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A Gentile man calls his elderly mother. He asks,

“Mom, how are you feeling? Do you need anything?”

She says,

“I’m feeling fine, and I don’t need anything. Thanks for calling.”