A Kick in the Nuts

Another gem from Capettawitz. This one is the late great Jewish comedian Buddy Hackett appearing on The Tonight Show, Starring Johnny Carson doing his bit, The Duck Hunter.

Watch. Click the frame below to Play:



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Jim Cramer can suck it!

CNBC’s host of “Mad Money” Jim Cramer — and the entire network — received a well-deserved beat down from member-of-the-tribe Jon Stewart on last night’s “The Daily Show” on Comedy Central.

Cramer was squirming as Stewart showed shocking clip after clip of the Mad Money maven being caught up in lies and in cheating investors and the SEC — all of which caused Cramer to backpedal relentlessly throughout the interview.

Some are congratulating Cramer for his appearance on The Daily Show. While it certainly took balls on Cramer’s part to appear (just to have ’em cut off by Stewart), it does not make up for his transgressions nor those of his mother ship, CNBC.

Be sure to watch all three parts of the interview:


Jew Home Videos

It’s got explicit language. It’s got a twirling penis. It’s got Asians. It’s got racism. It’s got fatties and alcoholics. You may even get violently ill thanks to some shaky videography.

Most importantly, this home video’s got Jews! Here’s “Jews On A Cruise” by Justin Ross Lee:

Facebook doesn’t officially allow embedding of videos, so here’s the link.



Welcome Jaffe Cohen!

ObsessiveJew.com is incredibly excited to welcome comedian and writer Jaffe Cohen to the blog! Check out Jaffe’s credits here and look for Jaffe kvetching in new posts and comments as well!


Rick Warren is so fat…

By now I hope you are all up to date on the Rick Warren flap. President-Elect Obama has chosen the notorious Orange County California antigay preacher to give the inaugural invocation. Many online and offline groups are hopping mad and rightly so.
Rick Warren and President-Elect Obama

To supplement the angry emails, phone calls and protests, comedians are doing what they do best: Rick Warren fat jokes!

Comedians Bob Smith and Jaffe Cohen (yes, the same Jaffe Cohen of “I can’t talk now” fame) have stepped up to the (dinner) plate with a bevy of Rick Warren fat jokes.


First, Jaffe’s:

Rick Warren is so fat that when they threw him in the coliseum, he ate the lions!!


Rick Warren is so fat he looks like he ate Jerry Falwell


Rick Warren is so fat he worships the Burger King of Kings.


Rick Warren is so fat he was baptized with gravy.


Rick Warren is so fat that when he was born again the minister touched his forehead, he fell backward and killed three people.


Rick Warren says gay people should control our urges. But he is so fat he looks like he needs to control his urge for snacks.


Rick Warren is so fat that If we threatened to make eating between meals illegal, he’d be supporting gay marriage in a second.


Now Bob’s:

Rick Warren is so fat that he looks like he ate the leftovers at the Last Supper.


Rick Warren is so fat that they’d have to hang him on two crosses.


Rick Warren is so fat that his favorite miracle is loaves and fish sticks.


Rick Warren is so fat that he couldn’t walk on water — if it was frozen!


Rick Warren’s a sinner. He covets his neighbor’s donuts!


Rick Warren is so fat that his fat ass won’t fit through the Gates of Heaven.


Rick Warren is so fat he believes in one God and three helpings.


Rick Warren is so fat that he supports Proposition 8000 Calories.


Rick Warren is so fat that he’d believe in gay marriage if it was between a fatso and a gingerbread man.


Rick Warren is so fat that he would rise from the dead — for dinner.


These jokes are copyrighted by Jaffe Cohen and Bob Smith and are used by permission.


Hang it Up! Part Deux

He did it again!

Just after he called me on my cell phone to tell me he couldn’t talk, he called again and got my voicemail. I happened to be writing the first Hang it Up! post on my iPhone at the time so his call went straight to voicemail.

This time he left a voicemail message saying he couldn’t talk. Like he needed to reiterate that point?

I got it the first time. Really.

The ironic part is that his voicemail was really long. He took a forever to tell me he couldn’t talk. In fact, he couldn’t stop talking. On and on he went about how he couldn’t talk.

You think I’m kidding. I’m not.

Here’s the voicemail. Listen for yourself:

(Click the Image Below to Play)


Hang it Up!

I just got a call from Jaffe. He called to tell me that he couldn’t talk.


Why? Why do people call just to say they can’t talk? It’s a waste of a call folks. And, if you’re calling someone with a cell phone, they are charged for you to tell them you really don’t want to talk to them!

Insulted and charged for the insult to boot!

Lee said it and it’s true: Only a Jew would call to say he can’t talk.

Moral: Think before you dial!

Posted from my iPhone.


Classic Jewish Comedy – A Tribute to Alan King

Alan King’s classic bit “Survived by his Wife” from Capettawitz:

(Click the Image Below to Play)