Keeping the car in the garage keeps its sheen. Same with the penis. In fact, I’d go as far as to say I have foreskin envy. I want mine back! It can be done but I’m not going to delve into that here (Google “foreskin restoration”).

Just try to have this conversation with a Jewish woman. I dare you. Jewish women can not have an intelligent conversation about foreskin. Worse is trying to discuss not having a bris with an expectant Jewish mother. The very mention of the word makes them cringe and gag. They become physically ill and even have trouble with the well-heeled ewww — a word that Jewish women, particularly JAPPY ones pronounce in three or four syllables.

For Jewish women, the “ewww factor” of an uncircumcised penis, on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the ewwwiest) is a 12.

Covenant shmuvenant.