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Posts Tagged ‘foreskin’

A Cut Above The Rest

March 4th, 2009 2 comments

I happen to think that a bris, or any type of ceremony that celebrates the mutilation of the human body, is a shande — a barbaric shande! Not to mention that chopping off the foreskin reduces penile sensitivity, thus making sex less pleasurable.

Keeping the car in the garage keeps its sheen. Same with the penis. In fact, I’d go as far as to say I have foreskin envy. I want mine back! It can be done but I’m not going to delve into that here (Google “foreskin restoration”).

Just try to have this conversation with a Jewish woman. I dare you. Jewish women can not have an intelligent conversation about foreskin. Worse is trying to discuss not having a bris with an expectant Jewish mother. The very mention of the word makes them cringe and gag. They become physically ill and even have trouble with the well-heeled ewww — a word that Jewish women, particularly JAPPY ones pronounce in three or four syllables.

For Jewish women, the “ewww factor” of an uncircumcised penis, on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the ewwwiest) is a 12.

Covenant shmuvenant.

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