By now I hope you are all up to date on the Rick Warren flap. President-Elect Obama has chosen the notorious Orange County California antigay preacher to give the inaugural invocation. Many online and offline groups are hopping mad and rightly so.
To supplement the angry emails, phone calls and protests, comedians are doing what they do best: Rick Warren fat jokes!
Comedians Bob Smith and Jaffe Cohen (yes, the same Jaffe Cohen of “I can’t talk now” fame) have stepped up to the (dinner) plate with a bevy of Rick Warren fat jokes.
Rick Warren is so fat that when they threw him in the coliseum, he ate the lions!!
Rick Warren is so fat he looks like he ate Jerry Falwell
Rick Warren is so fat he worships the Burger King of Kings.
Rick Warren is so fat he was baptized with gravy.
Rick Warren is so fat that when he was born again the minister touched his forehead, he fell backward and killed three people.
Rick Warren says gay people should control our urges. But he is so fat he looks like he needs to control his urge for snacks.
Rick Warren is so fat that If we threatened to make eating between meals illegal, he’d be supporting gay marriage in a second.
Rick Warren is so fat that he looks like he ate the leftovers at the Last Supper.
Rick Warren is so fat that they’d have to hang him on two crosses.
Rick Warren is so fat that his favorite miracle is loaves and fish sticks.
Rick Warren is so fat that he couldn’t walk on water — if it was frozen!
Rick Warren’s a sinner. He covets his neighbor’s donuts!
Rick Warren is so fat that his fat ass won’t fit through the Gates of Heaven.
Rick Warren is so fat he believes in one God and three helpings.
Rick Warren is so fat that he supports Proposition 8000 Calories.
Rick Warren is so fat that he’d believe in gay marriage if it was between a fatso and a gingerbread man.
Rick Warren is so fat that he would rise from the dead — for dinner.
These jokes are copyrighted by Jaffe Cohen and Bob Smith and are used by permission.