Jewish Joke of the Day

On a Northwest Airways flight from Atlanta, Georgia, a middle aged woman found herself sitting next to a man wearing a yarmulke.

She called the attendant over to complain about her seating.

“What seems to be the problem, Madam?” asked the attendant.

“You’ve sat me next to a Jew!” I can’t possibly sit next to this strange man. Please find me another seat!”

“Madam, I will see what I can do to accommodate you, but the flight is virtually full today and I don’t know if there is another seat available.”

The woman shoots a snooty look at the snubbed Jewish man.

A few minutes later the attendant returned and said,

“Madam, the economy and club sections are full, however, we do have one seat in First Class.”

Before the lady had a chance to respond, the attendant continued,

“It’s only an exception that we make this kind of upgrade and I had to ask permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that no one should be forced to sit next to an unpleasant person….”

The flight attendant turned to the Jewish man sitting next to her and said,

“So if you’d like to get your things, Sir, I have a comfortable seat for you in First Class.”

At this point, the surrounding passengers stood up and gave a standing ovation while the Jewish man walked up to the front of the plane.

The lady then said indignantly,

“The Captain must have made a mistake!”

To which the attendant replied,

“No Ma’am, Captain Cohen never makes a mistake!”

The fancy-schmancy yarmulke above can be purchased at Judaica Mall. And, check out Yale grad Justein Chenberger’s yarmulka. It’s deliciously Jewasian!

He has decided to embrace a Holocaust-denying Bishop in order to, in his words, rehabilitate him. The Pope lifted the excommunication of Bishop Richard Williamson, an ultra-conservative, who recently said “there were no gas chambers” during the Holocaust, and, according to the Huffington Post, the bigoted Bishop recently went on Swedish state television with his outlandish anti-Semitic claims. In the TV interview he said that historical evidence is “is hugely against 6 million Jews having been deliberately gassed.”

Here’s the Williamson interview on YouTube:

Every major Jewish group is demanding that Pope Putz reverse his decision. You can make your voice heard by visiting the Simon Wiesenthal Center’s Website. You can also visit the Anti-Defamation League for more information.

They decided not to break out the birthday hats, horns and barbed wire and resisted the call of the Fatherland to wish a happy birthday to New Jersey’s own Baby Hitler. Walmart, however, showed their anti-Semitic roots by supplying the baby Brown Shirt and his parents with the Nazi-fied birthday treat. Unlike Shoprite, Walmart jumped to the chance to inscribe the cake to Adolf Hitler Campbell. WTF??

Well actually, it’s not that much of a surprise. Wallmart really hates us.

First they run their “Merry Christmas” assault on Jewish shoppers (and we do shop!). “Happy Holidays,” the inclusive seasonal wish, used comfortably for decades, is simply not Christian enough for Walmart. They see it, as do the Fox ‘News’ crew as an “assault on Christmas.” Hey idiots, it’s not an assault. It’s just that JEWS DON’T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS, assholes!!

Walmart just has a thing for Nazis. They once sold tee shirts with Nazi symbolism emblazoned upon them. Strange. Walmart censors CD’s and DVD’s with adult content yet they sell tee shirts with Nazi shit on them? Do they really think that the Jewish community will lay down and take this? Don’t think you can fool us just because you’re selling shirts wholesale!

So go ahead Walmart. Ignore Chanukah. Sell Nazi tee shirts. And, by all means, decorate cakes for Adolf Hitler. But rest assured, we will not take your shit!

It’s simple: Walmart Hates Jews! (Oh, I now have the domain WalmartHatesJews.com. I welcome your opinions on how we can use the site to embarrass Walmart!)

MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow weigh in:

Click here to view the embedded video.

But this kind of wisecracking from the fine people at WordPress gives me a little tsuris:

And what is Sarsparilla? Sounds vaguely anti-Semitic to me.