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More Borscht Belt Humor

January 9th, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

More Borscht Belt yucks from Capettawitz.

 

They’re oldies but goodies!

 
 

A drunk was in front of a judge.

The judge says, ‘You’ve been brought here for drinking.’

The drunk says ‘Okay, let’s get started.’

The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much.

The study revealed that this is due to the fact that ‘Won Ton’ spelled backward is ‘Not Now.’

There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.

Q: Why don’t Jewish mothers drink?

A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American-Princess horror movie?

A: It’s called, ‘Debbie Does Dishes.’

Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?

A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!

Q: What’s a Jewish American Princess’s favorite position?

A: Facing Bloomingdale’s.

A man called his mother in Florida, ‘Mom, how are you?’ ‘

Not too good,’ said the mother. ‘I’ve been very weak.’

The son said, ‘Why are you so weak?’

She said, ‘Because I haven’t eaten in 38 days.’

The son said, ‘That’s terrible. Why haven’t you eaten in 38 days?’

The mother answered, ‘Because I didn’t want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call.’

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play.

She asks, ‘What part is it?

The boy says, ‘I play the part of the Jewish husband. ‘

The mother scowls and says, ‘Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part.’

For more on the Borscht Belt, check out Laugh.com.

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