The Borscht Belt

The Borsch Belt: A New Series. Old Jokes.

The Joke: “The Parrots”

A woman goes to her rabbi with a serious problem. Her two female parrots have picked up a bad habit. Any time she has visitors, the two parrots embarrass her by saying, in unison, “Hi! We’re hookers. Want to have some fun?”

To her surprise, the rabbi breaks into a smile, explaining that he has two male parrots which he has trained to pray and who have become very observant, spending much of the day davening in their cage.

He’s confident that if the woman brings her two parrots over to his house, his two parrots will exert such a positive influence that her birds will turn into model parrots.

The next day the woman drives over to the rabbi’s house and brings her two parrots into his home. As she looks around, she notices a large cage with two parrots, each wearing a little kippah and tiny tallis, and each holding a miniature prayer book while they rock back and forth in prayer.

Sure enough, as soon as she places her parrots in the cage, they shout out to their male counterparts: “Hi! We’re hookers. Want to have some fun?” One of the rabbi’s parrots immediately turns to the other, squawking: “Moishe, put the fucking book down. Our prayers have been answered!”

[Contributed by Capettawitz]

  • tvlawyer

    Old Mrs. Shapiro walks the floor of her Alzheimer’s unit, lifting her nightgown and shouting “Super Pussy!” Even though she is warned by hospital staff to stop doing it, she continues approaching similarly senile old men, exposing herself and yelling “Super Pussy!”. Finally, she approaches old Myron, his head hung low, a bit of saliva dribbling from his chin. She stands before him, flashes her pineapple and yells “Super Pussy!”

    Old Myron opens his eyes, lifts his head and says “I’ll take the soup.”